Watch the video and create a short narration of what happened in the video and post it, use transition words, adjectives, and use the verb tenses properly
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking (the video)
"one form some cheap to create the video of a song"
in the video shows a man that goes to the concerts, he drives a black car and he has ugly, tight and ridicule dress, apparently he doesn't have a money to get in, but he trey over and over again until he get in, the place where made the activity is very noisy, messy and crowded, whoever the man doesn't mind
Very good, but there are some things to improve: - Remember that adjectives go Before nouns: "One cheap form to create...." - "The video shows..." - If you are talking about people, use WHO instead of THAT: "a man WHO goes..." - You don't say "a money", just say "he doesn't have money" - It is try, not trey - Check Simple present: "until he GETS in" - "Where the activity is made, it is noisy, ..." - It is however, not "whoever"
The video shows a man who goes to the concerts, he drives a black car and he has ugly, tight and ridiculous clothes, apparently he doesn't have money to get in, but he try over and over again until he gets in, the place where the activity is made, is noisy, messy and crowded, however the man doesn't mind
Our family decided to stay in Indiana instead of moving to Florida. For one thing, the twins are going to be seniors at Westbridge High next year and begged to stay here. Mon landed a perfect part-time job at a junior college. Dad thinks he is soon(suun) going to be promoted to vice president at his bank in Indianapolis. And deep inside, none of us really wants to leave our family and friends behind.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking (the video)
ReplyDelete"one form some cheap to create the video of a song"
in the video shows a man that goes to the concerts, he drives a black car and he has ugly, tight and ridicule dress, apparently he doesn't have a money to get in, but he trey over and over again until he get in, the place where made the activity is very noisy, messy and crowded, whoever the man doesn't mind
Very good, but there are some things to improve:
ReplyDelete- Remember that adjectives go Before nouns:
"One cheap form to create...."
- "The video shows..."
- If you are talking about people, use WHO instead of THAT: "a man WHO goes..."
- You don't say "a money", just say "he doesn't have money"
- It is try, not trey
- Check Simple present: "until he GETS in"
- "Where the activity is made, it is noisy, ..."
- It is however, not "whoever"
Please check the suggestions and re-write the paragraph
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"one cheap form to create the video of a song"
ReplyDeleteThe video shows a man who goes to the concerts, he drives a black car and he has ugly, tight and ridiculous clothes, apparently he doesn't have money to get in, but he try over and over again until he gets in, the place where the activity is made, is noisy, messy and crowded, however the man doesn't mind
Ejemplo 2
ReplyDeleteOur family decided to stay in Indiana instead of moving to Florida. For one thing, the twins are going to be seniors at Westbridge High next year and begged to stay here. Mon landed a perfect part-time job at a junior college. Dad thinks he is soon(suun) going to be promoted to vice president at his bank in Indianapolis. And deep inside, none of us really wants to leave our family and friends behind.
Aspects to evaluate:
ReplyDeleteFluency: the speaker makes no prolonged, unnecessary pauses that interrupt communication.
3 there were some pauses
Pronunciation: all sounds are pronounced correctly
Westbridge, at, year, begged, college, vice president, really, wants, friends 2
Intonation: the speaker user his/her voice to show the idea clearly, sentences, questions, exclamations, etc.
4
Speed: the speed used is proper for understanding the message
4
Punctuation: the speaker respects the pauses properly
4